Just Another Cheating Story

Terry came into the guest bedroom where Jaymes was sitting at his laptop, asking, "Can we talk?"

Jaymes looked up at her, saying, "Yeah, sure."

She came in and sat on the end of the twin bed near him and asked, "Are we okay?"

Jaymes turned to face her, tilted his head a little, looking perplexed, then replied, "Of course. Why?"

"It's just that...we haven't been together since you came back from Vegas six months ago. Did something happen out there? Something that affected us?"

Jaymes sat back and looked at her very seriously, his eyes slightly squinted and his mouth tight. He looked at her for a while, then raised his eyebrows slightly and said, "Vegas was seven months ago, actually." Then he asked, "When you say we haven't 'been together', you mean we haven't had sex, right?"

She nodded lightly, then said, "I just can't help but think that maybe...maybe you met someone, or something?"

He rubbed an eyebrow, then said, "Well, sort of", then he quickly looked at her and tensed a bit, saying, "But not the way you think, I could never do that, no, not like that. But I guess you could say I kind of met myself while I was out there."

Terry waited for him to continue, but he didn't, so she finally prompted, "You...met yourself?"

Jaymes nodded, then relaxed and asked, "Do you remember the last time we had sex?"

"Not really. I know it's been a while."

"Oh, it certainly has. The last time we had sex was on my birthday."

"Last year?"

With a chuckle, Jaymes said, "No", he expanded, saying, "The year before last."

Terry thought a bit, then said, "It can't be that long ago. That's almost two years."

"Yes, in less than a month it will be two full years, yes."

"That can't be right."

"Oh, it's true, it's been that long, I remember it all very well, Terry. Before that last time, the last time we had sex, I'd begged and begged for almost a year and kept hearing 'No', and I was going nuts."

Terry stared at him in silence, then Jaymes sat back and continued, "So, I finally played the 'It's my birthday' card and thankfully you gave in." Jaymes sat forward suddenly and added emphatically, "But here's the thing, Terry. It was very obvious to me that you were just doing me a favor, you didn't want to be there, and you couldn't even keep up a pretense, you asked, 'are you going to finish soon'?" He sat back again, saying quietly, "That stung a bit, I gotta tell'ya."

"I...I don't remember anything like that."

Jaymes spoke as if he were discussing something mundane, "Well, I remember it well enough for both of us, I guess. It's kind of a core memory, as they say. After that it went right back to me asking you for it, and hearing, 'no'. But I tell you what, at the time I was really looking forward to my birthday, because maybe, just maybe it'll finally happen. But no. It was a Wednesday, you had something come up for work and stayed out until after eleven and...life just went on.

"So, some bitter months go by and then I end up in Vegas." Jaymes leaned towards Terry a bit, telling her, "Prostitution is completely legal there. Not, like, in Vegas proper, but it's not that far a drive and you're in the thick of it where it's legal. But I'll tell'ya, there's plenty of women right there in Vegas staying under the radar, they're all over the place, fork over some money and all the sex in the world is right there for the asking, all kinds of sex, anything you want you can have. Well, except your own wife, I guess, you can't get that in Vegas. Well, maybe some guys could, but I couldn't. Anyway, I started thinking, 'maybe'. A couple bucks and I can have a woman right there with me, trying to please me.

"But even if I went where it's legal there, doing that", Jaymes pointed at his chest, saying, "It ain't legal here. I couldn't do that to you and live with myself." He sat back again and went on, "So, I had a lot of time to think out there..."

Jaymes fell silent, staring at the floor nearby.

Terry broke the brief silence, "But you never came home last trip. I noticed you never came home at all during that trip, usually you come home at least once a month."

Jaymes shrugged, saying, "I didn't want to be here."

"But, the girls..."

Jaymes looked at Terry and leaned forward, saying emphatically, "Exactly! That's what I pieced together out there, you and me, we have a fantastic life going on. Two beautiful daughters, a nice four bedroom house in a nice place, we have good paying jobs...well, at the time we both had good paying jobs, it's just you now, but anyway, I'm looking at my life and my only complaint in life is the lack of intimacy. The only complaint. Everything else is really, really great. So what should I do about that?

"My options are pretty limited, I'm thinking, I could cheat and end our marriage, I mean, 'for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live', those were the vows we made to each other. But at what cost? Everything else in my life is spectacular, would sex be worth throwing it all away? I don't think so.

"So then what, learn to accept what little you dole out as being enough? That wasn't working, I was already trying to do that and I was going out of my skull. It felt like I really, really needed sex. But then I realized, and here's the epiphany, I realized that I could just figure out how to do without."

Terry quietly asked in a tone of disbelief, "What?"

Jayme smiled and nodded vigorously, saying, "Lots of people...monks, priests, nuns, they go their whole lives just not having sex at all. So I decided I needed to learn how to do that, and Vegas was just the right place to do it, like trial by fire. A couple of dollars is all it would take to get laid, could I be in a place like that and be celibate? It was a test, for sure."

Again in quiet disbelief, Terry asked, "Celibate?"

Jaymes got serious, saying, "It was really hard at first, learning to think that way, but I knew I had to do it." He put his hands up a little, adding, "To stay sane. To save our marriage." He relaxed a bit, saying, "So far so good. Working out and doing some meditation in the basement every day helps a ton. A little time spent down there and I'm recharged." Jaymes relaxed in his chair and smiled at her, saying, "So, yeah. I met someone in Vegas. I met me, the new me."

Terry was a little unsettled and seemingly buried in thought, looking around at nothing in particular, just not looking at Jaymes. She finally looked up at him and announced in a matter of fact way, "I'll have sex with you."

Jaymes shook his head, telling her, "No, I can't do that."

"Wha...why not?"

"One slip up and I'll have to start fighting down the urges again. It's hard, they're like brush fires, the way they pop up. I have to do work to redirect that energy, it's taxing. Mentally, it's really taxing. So no, let's leave things the way you want them."

After a pause, Terry asked, "The way I want them?" After another silence she told him, "I don't want celibacy."

Jaymes smiled broadly and asked in mild astonishment, "You've spent almost two years avoiding sex with me and now you claim that it's not what you want? It took you seven months to even notice that I'd stopped pestering you about it, and now it's not what you want? Get real."

"Well no, I...it hasn't been a priority, I guess. Wait, is this why we sleep in different beds now? Is that why you changed our bedroom around?"

Jaymes grinned sheepishly, saying, "Yeah, I kind of fibbed to you. I said you were thrashing around and making it hard for me to sleep, but truth is, I was the one thrashing. Having you that close to me at night made me crazy. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch you and I was retraining my brain to not want sex...I couldn't do both, so to save our marriage I got us the twin beds."

Terry absorbed the news, then told Jaymes, "Well, part of the seven month delay in me bringing this up was me thinking that you might be in a bad mental place. With you losing your job when you got back from Vegas, maybe that stunted you somehow, like hit you in your confidence, or you got depressed. I was leaving you alone, thinking you needed time."

Jaymes shook his head, saying, "Nope, no depression or anything like that at all. What I've been doing is teaching myself how to think for myself." Jaymes looked at a nearby bookshelf, saying, "I've got books here...", he turned back to her, saying, "Doesn't matter, point is...okay, so I go into a restaurant and I order a meal. When it shows up I feel compelled to finish what's on my plate. Why? I don't know, but there it is." He leaned back again, saying, "Who decided that I needed that much food? Not me. How much food do I actually want? That's what I'm talking about. What do I want, and training my brain to register that I have a choice. I don't have to accept my initial reaction to something, I get to choose what to think.

"So, while I was in Vegas I started to think about my life...our life here, and asked myself what do I want? Well, mostly, I want what we have."

Jaymes had thought about this moment, he'd thought he might have to explain to Terry what was going on, and he'd long ago decided not to be completely truthful. He'd decided that he would, in his statements, include Terry, when in truth, the statements only really applied to his daughters. "So at the center of my life is you and the girls. How do I protect that? I need to make sure you all have a nice house. Good food. Support to do whatever you need to do, soccer games, softball...", he waved a hand at Terry, "...working nights and weekends and coming home needing to take a long shower." His next statements were completely honest, "The girls need their mother, so I need you to be content. When you are at ease in your mind, you can really be there for them. So, making you content is important. Sex is a sore spot for me, so, I put you in a box in my mind where you are not to be viewed as a sexual partner." He shrugged and told her, "That's really all it is, just learning how to think about things."

Terry had been listening intently, but these words were puzzling. She asked, "You put me in a box?"

Jaymes tossed his head lightly, then said, "Not like a literal box, maybe that's a bad way to describe it. It's...it's a separation, a wall of sorts. If I look at you and think sexual thoughts what I do with them is the same thing I've been doing with every woman I've ever had those kinds of thoughts about...every woman that isn't you, I mean...it's what I've done ever since we were together, before we even got married. If I looked at a woman that wasn't you and had...thoughts...I would push those thoughts aside, I sort of push the thought into its own little box and I say to myself, 'No, that's not the way to think here'. I don't push it aside and cover it up, I put it in its box and leave the box open and I tell it, 'No, it is incorrect to think that way'. So all I've done is I added you in with all those other women, I just take thoughts of sex and I push them into the box."

Terry uncertainly began, "Soo..."

Jaymes cut her off, saying, "And that's how I manage living in this house with you and the girls, I remain focused on what's important and push the rest out of my mind, and what's important is taking care of things around this house. So when I was in Vegas that's what I decided I had to do, all day, every day, I decided that I need to be the best stay at home parent I could possibly be."

Terry muttered, "Stay at home parent? You knew you were getting laid off? You knew that was coming?"

"Oh, yeah, Brad told me he was going to lay me off after Vegas so I started making a plan out there. And I like to think that I got into the swing of things here just fine. You've seen how it's worked out, I'm fine. I'm better than fine, I love being a house-husband, and I think I'm pretty good at it."

"Well, yeah, you are."

"Thank you. It's actually dawned on me lately that with my handyman skills, on top of being capable of cooking and cleaning, and with me scheduling the sports stuff, the doctors, the dentists, getting the girls everywhere they need to be, taking care of our finances, doing all the shopping...I think I'm fucking dynamite at this job."

"I agree..."

"And you always made more money than me anyway, so I like to think that me handling all this stuff frees you up to not worry, you know? Like you can go and do all those late nights that you do, and all the weekend days all the time, and you don't have to think about anything but your job. It's a perfect situation, we have pretty much a perfect life here. If I went back to work, well, we'd have to go through all the gyrations of dividing up who takes care of what and when, remember how it used to be?"

Terry smiled, "It was pretty hectic, that's true. But we could use the extra money, though."

"We're fine. You make enough to cover expenses, and we save some."

"We're really doing okay? I mean, I haven't asked to look at our financial stuff in a while."

"You do enough of that at work, I get it, but we're fine. I'll print out a couple pages to show you where we're at, if you want. After I finish getting together the list of stuff I need to swap in a new kitchen disposal."

"Oh, we need a new one?"

"Yeah, it's been making a death rattle for a few months now, I think I should just go ahead and replace it."

"Oh." Terry sat for a minute, then asked, "You really don't want to have sex with me?"

"No, not at all. I'm pretty well trained now, I look at you and I see my life partner, my co-parent...a long-time friend, really. But I don't have any desire to have sex with you...or anyone, really. Not anymore."

~~~~~

Jaymes did the morning 'usual', simultaneously making lunches for all three of his ladies and setting about making breakfast. He decided on pancakes and bacon today.

He chased Becky, the eight year old, around the table a bit, the two laughing, as he threatened to wipe some pancake batter on her nose. He then made sure that Angela, ten and fairly new to middle school, had all the books she needed today in her backpack. Terry joined the breakfast table while the noise was at its peak, then all three ladies grabbed up their lunches and sundries, then they headed out the door to climb in Terry's car and head off for the day.

This was always a moment Jaymes savored, the sudden change of tone from mayhem to quietude. He missed the mayhem and at the same time he enjoyed the silence that came over the house as he set about cleaning the kitchen. It was a pleasant moment.

He didn't need to consult the list behind the calendar, but he looked at it anyway. Yep. Downstairs vacuum day and tomorrow was bathroom day.

The house was in fairly good shape, he straightened up quickly and was done vacuuming with enough time to install the new disposer before his workout.

Once in the basement, standing there only in his boxer shorts and leather moccasins, Jaymes allowed himself to relive the conversation he'd had with Terry last night, and the anger welled up inside him, then he held himself back. He carefully put on his fancy, fingerless taekwondo gloves then settled himself and squared up in front of the punching bag that was hanging by chain from a floor joist.

He reached out and swayed the bag a little, then watched it as it pendulumed before him. He took stock of his opponent, he assessed its strengths and weaknesses, then he proceeded to violently unleash all of his pent up rage upon it, allowing guttural screams to accompany the flailing blows that he harshly delivered to the punching bag.

~~~~~

After showering and meditating, Jaymes set about making the Friday shopping list. Sundays and Fridays were the grocery store days, Sunday to lay in food for the weekdays and then tomorrow, Friday, a trip to make sure the kids will have fresh fruits to snack on at the sporting events they engaged in, and also any 'specials' such as grilling some chicken or whatever else Jaymes fancied.

Again, Jaymes found himself finishing up earlier than he'd anticipated, so he wandered into the garage to look at the '69 Cougar convertible that lived under its cover there. He drew back the cover and proceeded to check the fluids, the tire pressure, checking that the battery had a good charge and giving it an overall look-see. This being Thursday, and Terry not yet having stayed late at all this week, he felt positive that Terry would be calling around four in the afternoon to alert him of a late night 'at work'.

So, that meant he and the kids would have an evening consisting of dinner, homework, then going for a ride in the Cougar for ice cream at the fantastic shop up the river a ways.

The Cougar readied, Jaymes covered it back up and moved to the next routine task. Jaymes grabbed up the ipad in the guest bedroom to go through Terry's recent texts. She'd left the ipad synced to her cloud and forgotten, so Jaymes could simply look and see everything she'd said to whomever she'd said it to, but Jaymes knew where to look, what to screenshot and email to himself, and over the months he'd gotten this task down to a very quick few minutes every day.

Ah, unusually, there were some earlier-than-normal texts to her coworker and affair partner, Fred.

Jaymes chuckled a bit when he scrolled up and read the start of it.

Terry - 'I talked to Jaymes last night. He's taken a vow of celibacy.'

Fred - 'More for me LOL'

T- 'I'm worried about him'

F- 'Y?'

T- 'Celibacy isn't naturl'

F- 'Want to talk about it in my office?'

The texts stopped there. The time stamps were late morning, some hours ago, which meant Terry probably went to Fred's office 'to talk' and now they were probably done having sex for the day.

Change in plans, no ice cream tonight.

For a split second Jaymes hated Fred, but Jaymes pushed that thought into the corner and reminded himself that Fred was just a tiny man, just a small minded, twice-divorced, manipulative asshole, and that anger at Fred was not helpful in keeping his children's lives, and thus his own life, running smoothly. Fred was unimportant, what Fred and Terry did was unimportant, and Terry was only important as the family's source of income and as a stabilizing force in their daughter's lives.

Jaymes calmed quickly as he reminded himself to remember what's really important. He told himself, 'Jaymes, don't dwell on thoughts that don't help with important things'.

Jaymes screen-shotted the texts and emailed the images to himself, adding them to the long chain of texts he'd amassed that documented Terry's lengthy affair with Fred.

Jaymes decided that the next important thing was to start on dinner. He was planning a casserole that he knew Becky loved and everyone else liked well enough, and he hadn't made any casseroles in a long time, so...time to get going on that. Plus, it looked like there were four for dinner tonight, which would be nice.

~~~~~

Soon after Terry had asked Jaymes about their lack of intimacy Jaymes found himself being treated to overtures from Terry in the form of loving sorts of caresses at odd times, and a dramatic increase in Terry performing sudden nude strolls around the bedroom, followed by her getting uncomfortably close to him in a casual way. At times Jaymes had some trouble ignoring these behaviors, but he managed well enough that her advances subsided with time.

A short time later Jaymes noticed something strange on his phone, some sort of app he had no knowledge of. Upon looking further into it, he found humor in the fact that Terry had enabled an app on his phone that allowed her to track Jaymes' phone location by using her phone. He was further amused by her sudden need to have a top notch security system installed, one that allowed her to see all movements inside and around the outside of the house using her phone, although he'd put his foot down and banned cameras from being installed in the basement where he worked out and meditated. The very idea that she suspected he was cheating, and was watching his every move looking for proof of it, made Jaymes smile in amazement at times.

Still, his urges would never entirely dampen, occasionally he found himself wanting the touch of a woman. When he felt he was boiling over he would wait until he had the house to himself and then he would literally take matters into his own hand. During these times he would partake of no external stimuli, the activity was contained to just him being with his own body, and he limited his thoughts to just his own sensations. He barred any intrusive thoughts of the female form in all ways, his motivation being that the sensations he both created and availed himself of were devoid of requiring anyone else involved in any way.

Overall, he was at peace with the way things were, and as they are likely to do, some years rolled by and they were easily declared to have been calm ones.

~~~~~

Three years later:

As they started to eat dinner Becky spit out, "April's dad moved out today."

April was a girl Becky's age that lived directly across the street, they'd been friends forever and April was a frequent playmate of Becky's. Terry asked, "What's this now?"

Becky, at eleven years old now, had gathered a rudimentary grasp of events and related, "April's mom told her that since her dad had a new girlfriend he had to move away. He's going to live with April's grandma and grandpa."

Jaymes asked, "April's dad had a girlfriend?"

Becky nodded while ladling some casserole onto her plate, then added, "Yeah, and that made April's mom really mad. April said they were shouting at each other a lot, and her mom is being extra nice to her. But she cries a lot."

"April does?"

"No, her mom."

"Ah." Jaymes looked at Terry, who sat mute and was looking puzzled over what to say. Jaymes had an idea, and said, "Well, April's mom and dad were married, so he shouldn't have had a girlfriend at all. That's really wrong, doing that." He looked from one daughter to the other and said, "The big word for that is 'infidelity'. Another is 'adultery'. The simple name is just 'cheating', and it's one of the worst things a mom or dad can do."

Jaymes looked at his wife to see her reaction and Terry seemed focused on eating her food. She glanced up at Jaymes and paused a second. Jaymes, in a fit of meanness, quickly asked her, "Isn't that right, Terry? Isn't cheating on your spouse one of the worst things you can do? I mean, like, betrayal-wise."

Jaymes turned to his children, adding, "It's not as bad as murder, you know, but it's bad enough that there's two of the Ten Commandments devoted to saying 'don't do that', so, yeah. It's bad."

He turned back to Terry, asking innocently, "Right?"

Terry pulled her food-laden fork away from her mouth and said, "Oh, totally." She turned to Becky, adding, "If it's true, I mean." She moved her fork towards her mouth then pulled it away again, saying, "All we know is what April told you, we don't know the whole truth, and honestly, this isn't something people should even be talking about."

Becky asked, "Why not?"

"Well, it's kind of private business. It's a family issue, not a public one."

Becky shrugged, saying, "April just told me about it, that's all. She's upset about it and told me about it."

Angela, now 13, had a better handle on what it all meant and told Becky, "Well, sure, of course April is upset and wants to talk to somebody about it. That's what friends are for. To listen like that. Be helpful. And as her friend, you should listen to her and be there for her, but you shouldn't really be telling other people things she tells you."

"Like it's a secret?"

"Yeah, like a secret. When people tell you personal stuff like that, you should just keep it to yourself." Angela began to take a bite, then stopped and added, "Unless it's something really bad like they want to kill themselves or something, then you need to tell people. Other than that, keep it to yourself."

Becky shrugged and replied, "Okay", then went back to eating.

Jaymes smiled at Angela and Angela looked at him, not sure why he was looking at her the way he was.

Jaymes nodded at her and told her, "Good way of putting it." The more he thought about it, the more pleased he got and he finally told her, "Anyone ever tell you you're a smart cookie?"

Angela smiled and lifted her fork at him before putting it into her mouth.

Jaymes asked, "Say, Becky, can you relay a message to April from us?"

Becky shrugged, "I guess."

"Tell April that if there's an emergency of some sort we're here for them. Tell her to tell her mom, too. Me and your mother can help, like if there's a broken pipe, or maybe she needs someone to babysit April or her little brother for a bit...we're here."

Becky shrugged again, saying, "Okay."

Jaymes looked at a confused Terry, then told her, "What, we live right across the street, we're here."

~~~~~

A few days later, a sunny Saturday, Angela decided to go in the back yard and draw. She'd become quite skilled the last few years and had undertaken the creation of a series of drawings of a particular evergreen tree at the rear of the yard, and decided to add another sketch to the series.

The weather was spectacular, albeit a bit too sunny for Angela, so she moved her lawn chair over to the shade along the rear wall of the house, just a few feet under the downstairs bathroom window, and set about sketching.

The bathroom window was open, it being a nice day and all, and if Angela were to stand she would still be below the bottom of the window. She heard the bathroom door open and close, then heard her mother quietly say, "Okay, I'm in the bathroom, what do you want me to do?" There was a pause, then she heard, "Okay, I'll facetime you."

She heard the sound of her mother taking a seat on the closed toilet directly next to the window, then there were a few rings and she heard her mother laugh and say, "Oh, well, you really are excited about this, aren't you?"

A man's voice, very small sounding, replied, "Told'ya I miss you, and little man misses you too."

"I can see that, and look, he's standing at attention for me."

Angela perked up, wondering who her mother was talking to, and if what was happening in there was what it sounded like.

The man's tinny voice said, "I've been thinking of you all week."

"Oh, me too, I can't wait for you to come home, Wednesday can't come soon enough."

Angela shook her head, thinking 'Come home? Dad's in the garage.'

The man said, "But in the meantime, help me out."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Let me see the girls."

Angela puzzled at that. Who wanted to see her and Becky?

Her mother said, "I need to put the phone down, this takes two hands."

"Put it on the floor or prop it up somewhere, let me watch."

Her mother giggled a little, then Angela heard the sound of clothing rustling, followed by the muted mumble of a man's voice.

Her mother asked, "Now what?"

Again the muted male voice, then Angela heard her mother giggling along with the sound of more clothing being moved around.

Her mother asked, "Really? I don't get why you like watching me suck my nips, but okay, here goes."

Angela was slowly getting a much clearer picture of what her mother was doing in there, and it made her feel very uncomfortable.

She heard her mother wordlessly express, "Mmmm?"

<mumble-mumble>.

"Okay, let me...it's tough to get them both up to my lips...let me...there, how's this?"

<long mumble>.

"Well, if I...okay, pinch them like this?"

<mumble-mumble-mumble>.

"Well I don't know how you can blow a load in my mouth from a thousand miles away, how's that..."

<mumble-mumble>.

"...okay." Her mother moved around, then asked, "Like this?"

The man's tinny voice was clearer, saying, "Yeah, just...like...oh yeah."

Her mother said, "I can't see what's happening with the phone between my legs like this, did you come?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Ah, well that was quick."

"I told you we missed you."

With a giggle, Terry asked, "You didn't jizz on your phone, did you?"

The man laughed, saying, "A near miss, but no."

"Well. What about me? Where's my turn? When are you going to pound me into the mattress, or take me under the table like a serving wench, when's my turn?"

"Wednesday, my saucy little tart, I'll make it right Wednesday."

"Promise?"

"Oh yeah."

"God, I miss you Fred."

Angela blinked hard...'Fred'?

"Gotta get cleaned up. Love you, Terry."

"Love you too! Bye now."

~~~~~

Approaching Jaymes, Angela was very nervous. "Dad, I need to tell you something."

"Sure, what's up?"

She sat down on the floor next to him where he was repairing the door stop on the door into the garage, then said, "It's about something I heard. I think mom might have a boyfriend."

Jaymes set down the screwdriver in his hand, sat up fully and asked, "What makes you think so?"

Angela seemed reticent to speak, then finally told him, "I'm not a hundred percent sure, but...I heard her talking on the phone...through the window...I was in the back yard, and it was nice out so the windows were open and I heard her talking to someone. She called him 'Fred', and she laughed a lot, but then she started...I think he's her boyfriend."

Jaymes furrowed his brow and frowned, then asked, "Her boyfriend, how do you...why do you think so? What did you hear?"

Angela broke her eyes away and said, "I don't...", she sighed, then looked back at him and said, "It was a lot, but I think he's her boyfriend."

Jaymes asked again, "What did you hear?"

"Well, they were laughing and then it was some really raw stuff, Dad, stuff my mom shouldn't be saying to someone who's not my dad."

Jaymes waited a bit, then asked, "What makes you think he's her boyfriend, though?"

Angela frowned and looked down, then told him, "I think they...she...I think they sort of had sex, Dad. Like, on facetime. And after, she said 'I love you' to him."

Jaymes sighed long and hard, then asked, "That's what you heard?"

Without looking up, Angela nodded, then she told Jaymes, "When I came back inside I went and asked her who she was talking to and she acted weird. She said it was a coworker and it was all just joking around, but she was acting weird. Like, nervous or something."

Jaymes nodded slowly, then told her, "I'll investigate. If she is cheating, what do you think I should do?"

Angela continued to stare at the ground as she said, "I don't know...I guess...kick her out? Like April's mom did?"

Again, Jaymes nodded, his face displaying a sense of agreement, then he told her, "You're probably right." He then looked at her with concern and told her, "But if that happens, you need to remember, it's not your fault. You didn't make it happen by telling me what you heard. You understand me? If it turns out that way, you did nothing wrong, okay?"

Angela looked at him a while, thinking, then she nodded and told him, "I get it."

"There's an old saying, 'Don't shoot the messenger'. Somebody delivering bad news didn't make the news, they're just telling the news. Whatever happens, it's not on you, you're just the messenger."

Angela nodded, saying "I hear you."

Jaymes got back to work on the door, telling her, "Hopefully it's nothing, I'll let you know how it goes."

Angela got up while saying, "Okay, Dad", then left.

~~~~~

The next day Jaymes sat in the basement, thinking.

Truths come out all by themselves, eventually, so now Angela had a hint of the truth.

Now what?

If Jaymes tells her he found nothing, well, when the truth emerges again, Jaymes must be a fool, or an idiot for not seeing it before. After all, Angela had warned him.

He realized that in a way, Terry had brought Fred into their home. Where the kids would find out. This was over the line, Jaymes' kids were now involved. So, maybe it was time. Time to end it. Time to start a new life, one without Terry so involved in it. The idea sounded sort of good to Jaymes. Scary, maybe, daunting for sure, but strangely sort of exciting, too.

He decided it was time to make a break from the routine.

Over the course of a few weeks Jaymes contacted a lawyer and met with them, and he had many, many chats with Angela. He asked Angela to just stay away from her mother, not to let her know that she was under investigation by Jaymes, he explained that alerting Terry would cause trouble, especially if she were innocent, and that Jaymes needed time to figure things out.

While talking to his eldest over those few weeks he gradually let her know, as if he were just making new discoveries himself, that yes, what she'd heard was real and that yes, Angela's mother had a boyfriend.

The pair cried together many times, Angela crying about her feelings of being betrayed by a loved one, Jaymes crying about his feelings in general.

As Angela pivoted towards anger Jaymes soothed her as best he could. He worked very hard to explain to her that her mother and father were the key players in the problem, and that while what was transpiring obviously did, and would continue to have, a great effect on Angela and her little sister, none of what was happening was anybody's fault other than her parents. Jaymes assured her many times that both Jaymes and Terry would always love their kids with all of their hearts, even though the love they'd had for each other had now washed ashore to die on a deserted beach somewhere.

~~~~~

Terry came in the door to find Jaymes sitting in the recliner in the living room looking at her, which was a very unusual sight. She paused at the door, asking, "Everything okay?"

Jaymes told her, "Get settled, but we need to talk."

Terry went in and sat on the sofa, asking, "Talk about what?" She looked at the darkened dining room where the girls should be doing homework at this time of the evening, and asked, "Where are the girls?"

"Across the street for a sleepover. April and Becky are having a sleepover, anyway. I squeezed in Angela to go there for the evening, she'll be home in a few hours, she's hanging out with Madison. And Angela knows what you and I are about to discuss, so there's that, and I told Madison that I needed Angela to stay across the street a bit due to our family discussion."

"What are we discussing?"

"A few things. For starters, I gave the Cougar to my former coworker Max Pendleton a few days ago."

"Are you joking?"

"No."

Terry looked side to side, then looked at Jaymes, saying angrily, "You can't give the Cougar away, it's mine!"

Jaymes asked with a face of dismay, "What do you mean, 'It's mine'? What gave you that idea?"

Terry stammered in shock, "You...you gave it to me...it's mine...you gave me the keys...it had a bow on it, you gave me that car, it's mine!"

In mock dismay, Jaymes told her, "Oh, you thought that meant it was yours?"

"You gave it to me!"

"Oh, oh, I see the confusion, you thought I meant that, I see."

"What!?!"

"Well, you taught me not to pay attention to that, I thought sure you'd understand."

Terry wobbled in amazement, asking harshly, "What the hell are you talking about!?!"

Jaymes pulled a folded up sheet of paper out of his shirt pocket, unfolded it and handed it to her, saying, "Like this gift, here."

Terry took the paper and scanned it, then looked at Jaymes, asking, "What?"

"Read the words I highlighted. Read them out loud."

Terry looked at the paper and then recited just the yellow-highlighted words, "To have and to hold...forsaking all others, 'til death do us part." She looked at Jaymes in confusion, asking, "What...wedding vows? What?"

"Our wedding vows, those are the actual words we said when we promised that our hearts and souls and bodies belonged only to each other. I said those vows when I gifted myself to you forever, and you made the same promise, you said that you gifted me your whole self."

Terry stared at the paper, then started to ask, "What...", then fell silent, still staring at the words, confused.

Jaymes waited, then told her, "So I learned it from you. You gave me all of you, then you went ahead and reneged on that, you gave yourself to your coworker, Fred."

Terry's head snapped back as she looked at Jaymes in shock.

After a short silence, Jaymes went on, "All I did was the same exact thing you did with your body, but I did it with the Cougar, I gave it to you, then I gave it to a coworker. Well, a former coworker, really."

Terry looked back down and continued to stare at the paper for an eternity, it seemed, then she asked without looking up, "How long have you known?"

Jaymes sat back in the recliner and sighed, then said, "Since right before I went to Vegas three years ago."

She quietly asked, "How did you find out?"

"That's none of your business, all you need to know is that I know everything. Now, let me tell you what really happened in Vegas."

Terry asked urgently, "Did you cheat on me?"

Jaymes scoffed, "Oh, no, no, I could never do to you what you did to me, no, never." He sat forward, adding, "Got damned close, though, just never fell for it." He sat back again, telling her, "No, everything I've ever told you about Vegas is the truth, I just left a whole lot out. What happened was that after my birthday, after no sex for over a year, a few months before the Vegas job, I got suspicious that you were getting busy with someone other than me, and I found out for sure that you were. His name is Fred Alquist."

Jaymes stared at Terry, letting it sink in that he even knew the man's last name. She looked back at him a bit, then she looked down at the paper again.

Jaymes went on, "I figured out that you'd been busy banging him for over a year, and that you never actually work late, or on weekends, you just go off with him, that's what you do. That's what you still do."

Jaymes gave her an opportunity to comment, but she remained silent. He continued, "So yeah, I was going to Vegas, and I was destroyed inside, a completely hollowed out shell, going through the motions, and I decided that I was going to go out with a bang. I emptied my retirement accounts and went out there and I started pissing it away, drank myself stumbling, partied like the end of the world was happening...which it was, in my mind."

Meekly, Terry asked, "You did what? You emptied your 401Ks?"

"Yeah, it's all just gone, anything I still had left went to pay the taxes the next year and the taxes wiped out that savings account I had for all the company bonuses I got over the years. It's all just expensive, stupid water under the bridge now.

"So anyway, when the money was getting thin I went to a pawn shop and bought myself a shot gun, a mean old beast, a big double barrel, split it to load it thing. Bought myself a hacksaw, cut that thing down to where it fit in a backpack...", he leaned forward again, "That is so totally illegal you go to jail for just holding it." He sat back, "I had ammo, booze, I had a plan. I was going into the desert, drinking myself incontinent, pulling that little beast out and, BOOM, all my troubles are by the way, but then a funny thing happened.

"Somebody noticed how little of a shit I was giving about the job I was there to do, and they called my boss Brad, and Brad called me one day. It was the middle of the day, just a usual day for me, slurring drunk in the hotel room at noon, getting ready to go party at the craps table maybe...and I told him everything. I cried into the phone because finally, someone to tell." He asked rhetorically, "You know what that heartless son of a bitch did? He was on the next plane and was in my hotel room that night.

"He disappeared my gun...still don't know what he did with it. Disappeared my booze, too, then he listened as I cried to him. We'd go to the job together, but he did all the work, mostly, then we'd talk more. By the time the job ended I was not only back to being myself, I had a purpose. My kids. I decided that I was going to go home, and I decided that when I went back home I would no longer be a husband, but I'd be damned if I wasn't going to still be a father. I intended to become the best father my girls could ever wish for, that was my new mission in life. And Brad promised to lay me off when we got back so's I could get unemployment and see how it all went, and, well, it went fine."

Jaymes stared at Terry, waiting.

After a long while, Terry quietly asked, "Why didn't you say something?"

"About what?"

"That you...that you knew what I was doing. You should have said something. I'd have stopped. We could've fixed it."

Jaymes stared at her with suspicion then asked her, "Really? What was there to say, you'd already been with him over a year by then, you'd clearly made your choice already."

Terry thought about this a second, then asked, "My choice?"

Jaymes nodded, then told her, as if he were explaining the obvious, "Your wants were more important than me. Than the kids. You made your choice."

"It was never more important, it wasn't like that."

"It wasn't like that? Why are you talking in the past tense? This is happening now, this isn't something in the past, this is now." Jaymes sighed, then went on, "And the it you're talking about is a man that is basically a husband to you, but outside of our marriage. You currently have a relationship with someone, his name is Fred, and being with him is more important than being with me and the kids, plain and simple."

"No, it's not, it's not more important than you and the kids."

Jaymes scoffed, then told her, "Right, I forgot how you used to give me a treat on my birthdays. Well, the ones you remembered, anyway, the ones where you weren't busy banging Fred. And all those Saturdays where I'm on the sideline of a game cheering for the kids while you're supposedly working, but really you're just out and about with Fred, yeah, yeah, we're super important to you, those of us here at the homestead."

Terry winced, but Jaymes didn't see it. The pair sat in silence for quite a while, then finally Terry asked quietly, "What do you want me to do?"

Jaymes' next words had been waiting for her to ask that exact question and they came out forcefully, "Bow out gracefully."

After another long silence, Terry asked quietly, "What's that mean, 'bow out gracefully'?"

"We divorce. You don't fight that. I get on with my life. Here. In this house. Alone. Taking care of my kids."

"Our kids."

Jaymes got mildly sarcastic as he said, "Sure, our kids. You know you haven't been very involved the last few years, but yeah...our kids. The ones you see for a few hours a week. Them. Good, it's nice to see you take responsibility for them, and maybe you can see the damage you're causing to our kids by bringing Fred into our house so that they can find out about him."

In a defensive tone, Terry spit out, "I never brought him here!"

Jaymes told her with rising tension in his voice, "Oh yes, yes you did, you brought him into our house and you had phone sex with him in the bathroom, and my daughter heard you doing it!"

With eyes suddenly wide, Terry asked, "Angela actually heard that?"

"Yeah, all of everything! So, you got this side thing going on and you expose my kid to it so now she has to struggle with that betrayal all alone, her mother's stepping out, what the hell is that for her to listen to? Then she had the moral dilemma over whether to speak up, does she keep her mouth shut and let things ride, live with the knowledge all alone, or does she upset the whole house by telling her father what's up? She went through all of that, all alone, and then decided she needed to tell me, so then she had to screw up her courage and be the one to break her father's heart by telling me that my wife has 'a boyfriend'! Poor thing still doesn't know I already knew, and she had to ride that fucked up emotional roller coaster all alone, all because of you!" In hopes of hitting Terry in her heart, Jaymes added, "You're such a good mother."

Terry looked down and thought in silence a while, then asked, "Does Angela hate me now?"

Jaymes grinned wryly, saying, "Of course that's your concern. Does she hate you. Nothing about how is she feeling about the situation, how frightened she might be for the future of our family...no, just...how does this affect you."

Terry blinked a bit, trying to understand Jaymes' point and failing to, while Jaymes withheld any mention of the sobbing that he and Angela had engaged in when Jaymes had ultimately informed her that yes, he had confirmed it, her mother had taken a lover. Angela cried at the news, while James cried for his children.

Terry asked, "So how is she taking it?"

Jaymes staunchly declared, "We'll be fine."

Terry was quiet, then asked, "Does Becky know?"

"No."

Terry fell silent again. She looked again at the paper in her hand and read the words to herself, all of them. After a long while she finally said, without looking up, "We were kind of young to make a promise like this. We didn't really know what we were saying back then."

Jaymes' lips pursed, then he relaxed and told her, "I agree. I didn't really know the magnitude of that vow when we made it but I figured it out over time, and I never broke it. None of it. 'To have and to hold'. 'For better or worse'. 'In sickness and in health'. 'For richer or poorer'. 'Forsaking all others'. Now I know exactly what those words mean, and I thought you did, too. I really did."

Terry nodded, grunting, "Hm." She sat staring at the paper in her hand, then looked up and asked, "Can we fix this?"

In angry shock, Jaymes asked, "Fix what?"

"Us. Just go back. To how it was. Before."

Jaymes frowned, shaking his head, then said, "Terry, you brought him into our house and Angela knows now. It's too much." He looked down, saying again, "Too much." He looked back up, adding, "You messed with my kids now. You need to go. I packed a bag for you, it's in the dining room. There's an envelope with the divorce papers in the bag, go get it and get out. You can get the rest of your stuff later."

"Wha...go? Go where?"

Jaymes shrugged, suggesting, "Fred must have a place, he's been divorced a couple times, so there should be room for you there...a hotel, maybe...I don't know, but you'll figure it out."

"I...", Terry looked puzzled and maybe a little frightened as she said,"I don't want to go anywhere. This is my house, I live here."

Jaymes shook his head, saying, "No, this is the kids house, it's for them more than us, it's theirs."

Terry's brow furrowed and she, too, shook her head, saying, "No, no, I live here. You can't kick me out."

Jaymes sighed and stared at her, then said, "Don't make me fight about this. Just go."

"I...", Terry stopped, stared at Jaymes, then bluntly said, "No."

Jaymes snorted and looked down, then looked back up and told her, "This is not about you and me, it's about the kids and what's best for them. Think about it."

"No, this is my house, I live here, I pay the bills. Why don't you go somewhere else if you want us to separate?"

Jaymes sighed again, then put his elbow on the arm of the chair and rested his head on his hand. Finally, he told her, "Please don't fight me on this."

"Why not, it's my house, too, I deserve a say in this. I think we should stay together a while and talk this thing through. Maybe fix it."

Jaymes, still resting his head on his palm, sighed and closed his eyes. Finally he told her, in a weary voice, "Please don't do this. There's no fixing what we've done, it's over now. Please just go."

"No, why do we have to change a thing? We can just carry on like we did. Have a...what do they call it...open marriage, that's it. You can go find someone, too, if you want, we just carry on."

Terry waited expectantly for a response.

Jaymes slowly opened his eyes and looked at her, then asked, "Did you even read the words on that piece of paper I handed you?"

Terry glanced at the vows, then looked back at him with slightly squinted eyes.

Jaymes closed his eyes again, then puckered his lips and shook his head slightly.

Terry said, "Well, why not? Why not just keep doing what we were doing. Everyone was happy, there was no..."

Jaymes jerked, then sat up and harshly told her, "Everyone was NOT happy, I've been hanging by a thread for years, I tried and tried to carry on like everything was fine but I should have NEVER allowed things to end up where we are, I should have kicked you out the day I found out, but no. I didn't have the GUTS. You had me so messed up in my head by then that I rolled with it, made a nice home for the girls, and then you had to go and take the sliver of normalcy I'd built and fuck it all up by fucking your fucking asshole fucktoy right here in our fucking house! In front of our kid!"

"Well, there wasn't really sex, it..."

Derisively, Jaymes told her, "You had sex with someone right next to our kid! That's what that was! You stupid bitch, I fucking hate you for that! And fuck, I hate you for a lot more than that, but...mostly I'm fucking pissed at myself for letting it get to the point where something like that could even happen, I should've cut you out of our lives as soon as I knew!"

Terry remained quiet a bit, then calmly said, "It wasn't really sex, there was no..."

"Bullshit! My daughter got to hear her mother having sex with another man, plain and simple, my daughter told me she heard her mother ask a man that wasn't me,'Did you just cum on your phone?' I NEVER should have let it get to that point." He sat back and calmed, saying, "But it's done now, you did that and I've had enough. You've messed with my daughter's head and that's too far a thing to forgive, no, no way. You need to go and I'll handle how the kids process this...this...", Jaymes struggled for words, then found some, "this shit-show you've...we've created. For the sake of the kids, you need to go now."

"I don't think I do."

Jaymes whined, "Terry, please, don't make me break out my evidence and force the issue. We all need you to keep your job, and if I go public with my evidence about your affair with Fred then your job...and Fred's...they're gone, your company would have no choice but to fire the both of you. I can't make enough to support the house alone even if I tried, and if you're unemployed, what does that mean for our kids? They lose their home, that's what it means. So please, just take the bag and go. Let's just divorce and get on with our lives. For the sake of Angela and Becky. We're separating, divorcing, I get full custody, the kids stay here and I take care of them. If you want to fight me on any of that I'll wave my evidence in the air and it will be a fight between the guy that makes their breakfast, lunch and dinner versus the adulterous workaholic, and how's all that gonna play out?"

Sounding slightly exasperated, Terry asked, "What evidence, you keep saying evidence, what evidence?"

Jaymes frowned, nearly admitting to her what her had, then thought better of it. He told her, "Isn't it enough that I know Fred's name? That I know he's been divorced twice?" He then told a small lie, he wasn't exactly sure his evidence was actually legally obtained, but he told her, "My lawyer tells me that it's all admissible in court, so you can either take the no-fault divorce I'm offering or I go public with what you and Fred have been up to the last few years. It's kind of a no-brainer, Terry. Please just do what I'm asking."

Terry looked down, then looked off to one side a while. Eventually she broke the silence, asking quietly, "The kids. What do we tell them? About why we're separating, I mean."

Jaymes scoffed, saying, "The truth, I'm not covering for you. Angela knows the basics and Becky will tomorrow, but you own this, and when they ask questions I'll tell them the truth."

Terry pursed her lips, and again looking down she asked, "Do we have to, really?"

Jaymes got agitated and told her harshly, "Yes, we have to. They are the most important thing in this house...this life, and I will never show them a world where being treated like a...like some kind of appliance, or something...being taken for granted...being not so important, there is never a time where being treated like that is okay! I did it wrong! When they grow up they need to know that they do not have to be treated the way you treated me, they need the example of me putting you out the door for what you did!"

Terry and Jaymes sat in silence, Jaymes staring at her, Terry looking down.

Terry asked, without facing Jaymes, "What does Angela know, exactly?"

"That tonight I'm telling you we're divorcing, and she knows the why of it. She doesn't know the extent of it, but he's knows that what she heard was real."

Terry pinched her eyes shut.

Jaymes told Terry, "She's waiting for me to text her that you're gone so she can come home and comfort me. Well, we'll comfort each other. I'll text her after you leave and she'll come be with me."

Terry whispered loudly enough that Jaymes heard her say, "Be with you."

"Yeah." He stood up and told her, "Please leave. I have ice cream to eat with my daughter."

"What about Becky?"

"Angela and I will explain it in the morning. All we really need to say is that you did what April's dad did, she'll understand that. It's the anger and sadness she'll have, that'll be the problem tomorrow, I think. Angela has already been through a lot of that, she's accepted the truth already, so she'll be mostly okay tomorrow." Jaymes waited and, seeing nothing from Terry, he added, "We'll get through it. We'll be fine."

"We?"

"Me and the kids. We'll be fine."

...

When Angela had started to walk across the street she was firm in her thoughts and on a mission. As she ascended the steps and approached the front door she wavered, unsure now. She stood outside the front door and looked at the business card in her hand.

...

Terry told Jaymes in a small voice, "You weren't supposed to find out. This wasn't supposed to happen."

...

Angela began to turn away, maybe she should just go back across the street.

...

Jaymes sneered and replied loudly, "You weren't supposed to cheat. That wasn't supposed to happen." He finally snapped and yelled, "Take your bag and GO!"

...

Angela heard her father yell, an act he'd rarely engaged in. She didn't hear the words that led up to it but she clearly heard him loudly yell 'GO' just now. She turned, faced the door and grabbed the doorknob.

...

Jaymes hadn't yelled at Terry in eons, but he'd yelled now and Terry's shoulders had flinched at the noise. After her sudden wave of fear abated she stood and started to move in the direction of the dining room. She'd barely taken a step when the front door suddenly popped open and Angela walked in, saying brightly, "Oh, Mom, you're here, I have something for you."

Jaymes was shocked at Angela's sudden presence, and also stunned at her seemingly happy demeanor.

Terry turned towards Angela while she quickly approached and handed Terry a card, telling her in an odd way, "This is April's dad's business card, Madison let me have one to give you."

Jaymes now heard the cracking in Angela's voice, the sound a person makes as they are choking back some huge well of emotion. Be it fear, be it anger...whatever was behind Angela's smiling visage Jaymes was unable to discern, but he knew it weighed massively on Angela as she forced herself to speak.

Terry glanced at the card and looked at Angela, asking quietly, "Madison?"

Sounding somewhat more composed, Angela explained, "April's mom. I'm old enough, she lets me call her 'Madison' now. Anyway, that's April's dad's business card, and he's a cheater, just like you, so I thought you'd like to call him." Angela smiled at Terry sweetly, locking eyes with her and adding with utter calm in her voice, "You might like each other, you have a lot in common, so...here!"

Angela turned and headed for the door, and as she walked she looked at Jaymes and pointed her finger at him at full arm's length, telling him gaily, "Madison's got her eye on you, old man, stay sharp now."

Jaymes turned away, suppressing a smile, then, when he'd contained himself enough and he'd heard Angela shut the door behind herself, he turned back to face Terry. He stared at her blankly, then told her, "Me and the kids will be fine. Just go now."

Terry stared at the card a bit, then turned towards the dining room and started to walk again. She stopped, then told Jaymes, "I'd rather pack a bag myself. I'm going upstairs."

Jaymes sighed, then informed her, "I packed just like I do for your supposed business trips, the ones where you and Fred go romp around in a hotel pretending to visit customers. You have everything you need for a while. I also packed all that sexy lingerie and the toys you had hidden in that metal lockbox in the closet behind the shoe rack." After a second he added, "Just in case you might need it."

"That's not what I want to get, I..."

Jaymes cut her off, saying loudly, "You have enough stuff for some days in the bag, just go. Come back later for the rest of your stuff, just go now."

Terry stood staring at Jaymes. She started to speak, then immediately stopped. She turned away and walked to the dining room, then dragged her roll aboard to the front door. She paused in the open doorway, looked at Jaymes and again inhaled as if to speak, then again fell quiet.

She continued out the door, closing it behind herself.